The short version: Knowing a handful of words makes gay China far easier to read. The big one is tongzhi (同志), the everyday word for “gay”. On the apps you’ll constantly see 1, 0 and 0.5 — positions, roughly top, bottom and versatile. A few terms are warm and in-group; a few are blunt or even slurs depending on who says them. This glossary explains what each one means and, just as importantly, which to use yourself and which to simply recognise.

A quick word on tone

Slang carries feeling, and that’s doubly true across a language barrier. Some of these words are affectionate and widely used; others are casual among friends but rude from a stranger, and a couple are genuine slurs that the community sometimes reclaims but outsiders really shouldn’t throw around. As a visitor, the safe move is to understand all of them and use only the neutral ones until you’ve got a feel for the room. Meanings also shift by region, generation and platform, so treat this as a friendly map rather than a rulebook.

The essential words

同志 (tóngzhì) — “comrade”, and the everyday word for gay. Borrowed from the old socialist “comrade”, it was reclaimed decades ago and is now the standard, respectable umbrella term across the Chinese-speaking world for LGBTQ+ people. You’ll see it in venue names, community groups and app bios. Safe to use.

拉拉 / 蕾丝 (lālā / lěisī) — lesbian. Lala is the common community word for queer women; leisi (from English “les”) is also heard. 百合 (bǎihé, “lily”) leans more toward women-loving-women themes in fiction and fan culture. For more, see our lesbian travel in China guide.

弯 (wān) — “bent”, i.e. gay; 直 (zhí) — “straight”. A neat, common pairing: wan literally means bent and zhi means straight, used just as in English. You’ll hear “is he bent or straight?” phrased exactly this way.

圈内 / 圈子 (quānnèi / quānzi) — “in the circle” / “the scene”. A discreet, very useful way to refer to the gay community without naming it. Someone “in the circle” is family.

On the apps: 1, 0 and 0.5

Open Blued, Grindr or any Chinese gay app and the numbers appear immediately. 1 (yī) means top, 0 (líng) means bottom, and 0.5 means versatile. It’s a tidy, near-universal shorthand you’ll see in profiles and chat. You may also meet 不分 (bùfēn), literally “doesn’t divide” — versatile / no preference — which overlaps with 0.5.

Body- and type-words travel across languages too: 熊 (xióng) — bear, 猴 (hóu, “monkey”) or 瘦 (shòu) — slim, 肌肉 (jīròu) — muscular, and 奶狗 / 小奶狗 for a sweet younger “puppy” type. If bear culture is your thing, our China bear community and bear community pages go deeper. For the app landscape itself, see gay dating apps in China and can I use Grindr in China?

Affectionate & in-group terms

哥哥 / 弟弟 (gēge / dìdi) — “older brother” / “younger brother”. Common terms of endearment and dynamics, often hinting at age or role within a relationship rather than literal family.

男友 / 对象 (nányǒu / duìxiàng) — boyfriend / partner. Nanyou is “boyfriend”; duixiang is a softer, gender-neutral “the person I’m with”, handy in mixed company. Travelling as a couple? Our public affection & couples guide is worth a read.

CP — “couple” / a ship. Borrowed straight from fan culture, used for a real or imagined pairing.

Words to recognise but handle with care

基佬 (jīlǎo) — roughly “gay guy”. Originally derived from the Cantonese borrowing of English “gay”, it can be playful among friends but is often pejorative from outsiders. Recognise it; don’t deploy it.

玻璃 (bōli, “glass”) and 兔子 (tùzi, “rabbit”) are older, often derogatory slang for gay men. You may see them in historical or literary contexts, but they’re not words to use.

娘 (niáng) — “effeminate”. Usually an insult about being “girly”; 娘炮 (niángpào) is harsher still. Best left unspoken.

The pattern here is consistent: terms tied to in-group identity (tongzhi, lala, quanzi) are safe; terms that describe or judge someone’s manner can sting. When in doubt, stick to the neutral vocabulary.

A few phrases that smooth the way

You don’t need fluency to be friendly. A warm nǐ hǎo (hello), xièxie (thank you) and a smile go a long way, and asking “nǐ shì quānnèi de ma?” (“are you in the circle?”) is a gentle way to feel out a connection. For a fuller travel vocabulary — ordering, directions, the bar — see our gay traveller’s Mandarin phrasebook. And if you’re working out how people actually meet here, meeting gay locals in China and WeChat for gay travellers pair naturally with this glossary.

The honest bottom line

Language is one of the quiet pleasures of gay travel: drop in a single right word and a stranger’s face softens. Learn tongzhi, learn the numbers, learn “the circle”, and you’ll already read a bar or an app far better than most visitors. Use the warm words freely, recognise the rough ones, and let local friends be your guide on everything in between.

Get the full Mandarin phrasebook →

Sources: community glossaries and language references including Chinosity (Queer Chinese Vocabulary), Ling, ChinesePod and The Bougie Backpacker’s Chinese LGBTQ lexicon. Usage and connotation vary by region, age and platform — some terms are reclaimed in-group and offensive out of it. Last verified: June 2026.